Past Life Explorer Gifts

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

You've regressed too far...okay, I want you to back up out of the fallopian tube.

'That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."

"While I respect your belief in reincarnation, I'm not interested in jobs held in past lives."

"... You lived on Longmoor lane and drank in the Prince George?... Dad, is that you?"

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

reincarnated worm...

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

'Look man, no wings!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Buddhist photo albums,

Tourist

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

The Final Selfie

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

The Suite Hereafter

Going Down?