Death And Afterlife Explorer Gifts

'You'll be wanting number 26 - he's not been well...'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Needs to get a life"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Halo Frisbee.

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Look man, no wings!'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The Suite Hereafter

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."