Afterlife Navigator Gifts

Heaven - "You are here" sign.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Needs to get a life"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Better times ahead.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Halo Frisbee.

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.