Afterlife Journey Gifts

"My husband never did enjoy flying."

Good news! Your exemplary life qualified you for pre-check status! You can probably guess the bad news.

"This isn't exactly what I expected when I asked Sam's Travel, Inc. to send me to paradise."

'Woah! I must have gotten on the wrong bus.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'