Afterlife Adventures Gifts

Dead rock star plays loud music in heaven

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Needs to get a life"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

The Reaper's Arms

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Look man, no wings!'