Afterlife Transition Gifts

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'It didn't take HIM long to feel at home!'

"Welcome and here is your ear and arm back."

"Welcome - pleased to meet you! I'm the Entertainments Officer..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.