Longevity Seeker Gifts

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

I read that taking frequent naps can stave off old age.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Congratulations! Your refill is on the house - no one thought you'd live this long.'

'My secret for a long life? I've always drank, smoked, made out with women and hated yogurt and exercising.'

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

"Back from your doctor's appointment already? What did he say?"

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'It's this or salad--Doc says we need to eat raw, crunchy food.'

'Find the key to immortality tomorrow ... I gotta mop.'

'To what do you attribute your longevity?'

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

I'm telling you, this standing-on-your-head workout will add hours to your life.

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

"Stay hydrated"

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Walter has decided to add years to his life."

37 years in the same position.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'