Longevity Lovers Gifts

Methuselah attends a job interview.

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

'Methuselah is very depressed. The doctor gave him only 85 more years to live.'

37 years in the same position.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

Michael Jackson: The thriller of entertainment.

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

Midlife: You Are Here.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Old Frogs' Home

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."