Long-life Enthusiasts Gifts

"And our little girl just turned 218 months old."

Reach for the Star.

37 years in the same position.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?