Lifespan Enthusiast Gifts

"How many years do I think you have left? Fiscal or Healthwise?"

Reach for the Star.

37 years in the same position.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'