Lifespan Explorer Gifts

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'If we didn't live so long we wouldn't eat so much!'

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

Retirement Age

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"Don't patronize me. Nobody cares what I think anymore. Go ask Dr. Phil."

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age world."

Ages of man.