Lifespan Maximizer Gifts

24-hour virus best seller: Double Your Life Span,

37 years in the same position.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"How are my sales doing?"

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

"It's simple. Remove everything from your life that you enjoy, so you can live a long, unenjoyable life."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"75"

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"