Lifespan Maximizer Gifts

24-hour virus best seller: Double Your Life Span,

37 years in the same position.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

"How are my sales doing?"

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"75"

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"It's simple. Remove everything from your life that you enjoy, so you can live a long, unenjoyable life."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"