Life Maximizer Gifts

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

Let's get organized

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

Am Awful Crammer.

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

"How are my sales doing?"

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

'When I hired you Curtis, you were a skinny wimp. Are you sure you're not on steroids?'

'We believe in putting people before profits. We put people in China to leave more profits here.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Only the rich can afford this much nothing."