Life Maximizer T-Shirts

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

'I have your estimated date of death, Mr Wilson, and my advice is to Spend! Spend! Spend!'

Let's get organized

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Am Awful Crammer.

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"How are my sales doing?"

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Why is it the universe keeps expanding but there's never any room in my closet?

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

'When I hired you Curtis, you were a skinny wimp. Are you sure you're not on steroids?'

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

"Only the rich can afford this much nothing."