Lifestyle Optimizer T-Shirts

Simplify Your Life Conference, 1,000s of Exhibits.

'We may have to adjust the gastric band a little.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I didn't spark joy."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Death coach..."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Does it spark joy?

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Watch yourself.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

Overloaded on Junk Food.

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

"Drinking and smoking will certainly help you to get an 'enhanced annuity'. . ."

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

"Phil suddenly decided to give up everything that was bad for him-no more smoking, drinking, or junk food-and he feels absolutely terrific!"

Candies and diet pills

"Today, we examined our life styles, we evaluated our diet and our exercise program, and we also assessed our behavioral patterns. Then we felt we needed a drink."

'So, what'll it take to put you in a new life today?'

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

"It looks like another productive night of sleep and exercise. My smart watch logged seven hours of sleep and over 1,500 steps from sleep walking."