Lifestyle Optimizer T-Shirts

Simplify Your Life Conference, 1,000s of Exhibits.

'We may have to adjust the gastric band a little.'

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

I decided to simplify my life!

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I didn't spark joy."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"Death coach..."

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Does it spark joy?

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Watch yourself.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Overloaded on Junk Food.

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

'Your glaucoma will never improve this way, Buzzy.'

"Phil suddenly decided to give up everything that was bad for him-no more smoking, drinking, or junk food-and he feels absolutely terrific!"

"Drinking and smoking will certainly help you to get an 'enhanced annuity'. . ."

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."