Work-life Optimizer T-Shirts

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Working Late

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Commutobile

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

'Little has changed since you called saying you had to work overtime. Except John Wayne died. Oh, and there's a new thing called the 'Internet'.'

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Business or pleasure?'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'Anybody who has a life, gets more work.'

The other digital divide.

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

"I'm sorry I'm away from my desk, but it's still in my thoughts."

'I wish you didn't have to bring your work home with you.'

The Need for Delegation

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

'I am not my job... my job is not me... I do not need my job to give my life a purpose...' 'Hey, did you hear the news? We're all laid off!' 'Stupid affirmations!'

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."