Life Optimization Seekers T-Shirts

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Blowing dust off an order book.

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

"It's a new take on the whole work/life balance thing. . . Anybody who has a life needs to be given more work."

"Half-full. Those were the days."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

'What doesn't kill you, makes you a burden.'

A microbe using his macroscope to search for intelligent forms of life.

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"