Profit Maximizer T-Shirts

"How are my sales doing?"

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

Asset management over development.

'From time to time we like to upgrade our mission statement.'

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'Hess may be a rogue player, but let's not rein him in quite yet.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

'This is why we can't have nice things...'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

"Bigger isn't always better. Unless we're talking deductions."

"Madeline, somebody on line two called me by mistake. Will you please bill them for fifteen seconds of my time?"

'Forget government intervention. Hiring a snake charmer has truly worked wonders.'

"All I can say is that if being a leading manufacturer means being a leading polluter, so be it."

'We believe in putting people before profits. We put people in China to leave more profits here.'

'The only downside to your plan to maximize profits is that we are so going straight to hell.'

'Success is buying your experience cheap. . . and selling at a profit.'

'Finsley is a genius. He can turn one dollar in sales into three dollars in profit.'

I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eek out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: Raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn out the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.

Boss, part of the ceiling just caved in. Excellent. Raise all prices by ten percent right away, minion. Studies show patrons are willing to pay a premium to eat in a caf

How Businessmen See The World

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Let's get organized

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

The Evolution of the Bonus

ACME Balloon Company.

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."