Longevity Admirer Gifts

"Congratulations, sir, you've outlived the lot of them!"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'Grandad's longevity has gone through the roof.'

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

37 years in the same position.

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Ed's receding hairline!

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Midlife: You Are Here.

Hillary Clinton

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."