Eternal Life Explorer Gifts

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Chiller Theatre

"I shop, therefore I am."

Pastorius wonders why.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Needs to get a life"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Optimist

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Look man, no wings!'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Is this who I am?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

The Final Selfie

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Going Down?

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

The Suite Hereafter

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"