Eternal Life Explorer T-Shirts

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Chiller Theatre

Pastorius wonders why.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Needs to get a life"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Optimist

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Is this who I am?"

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Look man, no wings!'

"But what if this is all there is?"

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

Going Down?

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

The Final Selfie