Eternal Youth Explorer Gifts

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Elderly People

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"They grow up so slow."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

Driver being taught by impatient parent

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"This place is okay, but it's nothing to text home about."

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.