Eternal Youth Seekers Gifts

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

It says here that yu sleep less as you get older. I think Ernie has found fountain of eternal youth.

'Of course I remember you. Potkins the Peter Pan of the Lower Fourth.'

'Will 50 be enough, madam?'

'Warning . . . this product may cause tiredness, poor vision, achy back, joint pain, wrinkles. . .'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Elderly People

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"They grow up so slow."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'