Angel Caller Gifts

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

Bag for Life Collection Point.

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

'Asking for trouble hotline...How may I direct your conscience?'

Spring Break!

Heaven terms and conditions.

'Turns out it was starve a cold, feed a fever.'

POOP-ANGEL!

Celestial Music

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

'I'm sick of you telling me what to do!'

Christmas 2020

"Who are you going to listen to? Me, or the boss from hell?"

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

"File for an extension. . . Actually, that's a good idea."

'That's not a food.. it's a laxative.'

A patrolman pulls over a nude man on a motorcycle who is wearing angel wings and a snorkelmask. says:' Late for your baptism eh?.... .'

Well, here's your problem … you lost a wing nut.

"And that's my guardian angel!"

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'

"I have a great idea for you, but naturally you're nowhere near your writing desk."

Lawn darts never took off in Heaven

'I was able to take it all with me due to great legal representation.'