Angel Gifts

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"It's not what I expected."

'I'm going back as a ghost. It's time to give something back to the community.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."