Late-night Reader Gifts

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Man reading in lamp

'For the last time...TURN THAT LIGHT OFF AND GO TO SLEEP!'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Night-shift entrance

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

'I'll never forget, it was the day before Newton discovered gravity.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

Diet Enforcer

"Mother, you were right."

Large Print Book

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

Full Moon Diner

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"No!"

"I can't put it down."

'Does that look like your waiter?'

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'