Night Reader Gifts

Reading by Wind Energy

"I can't put it down."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

Ok, ok, last page.

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"Scientists believe the mysterious asteroid, known as 'Oumaumau', may be a space probe, a discarded solar sail or a huge alien turd."

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Man reading in lamp