Night Reader Gifts

Reading by Wind Energy

"I can't put it down."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

'Don't tell me - you've come as a newsreader?'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

Man reading in lamp