Night-time Reader Gifts

"That was terrible. Deeply flawed. Full of crap. Now read it to me again."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Man reading in lamp

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"Is the light bothering you?"

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

Death reads a bedtime story.

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

Fifty Shades of Yellow

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

"The 3-D version sucks."