Nighttime Reading Gifts

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'It just turned tomorrow.'

'Well yes, I think it does matter whether the moon is the wrong way round!'

Dark Mode

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'A Great Big Bang. An I-Can-Read Cosmology Book'

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Bedtime story.

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Man reading in lamp

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'