Nighttime Reading Gifts

It's

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'It just turned tomorrow.'

'Well yes, I think it does matter whether the moon is the wrong way round!'

Dark Mode

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'A Great Big Bang. An I-Can-Read Cosmology Book'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

Bedtime story.

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.