Nighttime Reader Gifts

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'You know I'm not going to be able to concentrate if you're going to grind your teeth all night.'

'I think I'll read for a bit.'

"No!"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"Surely they can't all be tell-alls..."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Owl reading books.

Monk reads in bed using night light candle clipped to book.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Man reading in lamp

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

'The princess won the lottery and lived even more happily ever after.'

"Is the light bothering you?"

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.