Bedtime Reader Gifts

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'It's weird, but I feel like I've read this before.'

"Why can't you read in bed!"

"Yes, dear, you're still the man of my dreams. Your snoring wakes me up every night."

"I'm going to give you a bunch of literature about insomnia. Start reading it at bedtime and you'll be asleep in no time."

Annoyed woman in bed with man reading book entitled: 'The Joy Of Reading In Bed'.

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

'And they all lived happily ever after, once the prince's lawyers sorted out the pre-nuptial...'

'Coming to bed with a good book, now isn't that better than all that lovemaking nonesense at our age?'

"Wouldn't one pen in your pajamas suffice?"

How to resist the urge to stab someone in their sleep.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

'It must be a good one. He slept there all night.'

"It says here we should get a lodger."

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"Is the light bothering you dear?"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

"When are you going to turn that off?"

"If you want to read in bed, skip the financial pages... your screaming keeps me awake!"

"And the prince, the princess and the Prozac lived happily ever after."

Sex manual - 'I've found it darling, on page 501...'

"Would you mind making room? My reading group is here."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

Books called: "Will Never Be Finished", "Ain't Gonna Happen", "Nope" etc.

"Sometimes it feels as if you read in bed as a way to avoid intimacy."

"Of course I still love you. It's just that after all these years your pheromones stimulate my desire to read."

Fifty Shades of Yellow

"The 3-D version sucks."

"Thanks for washing the duvet cover. Have you seen the cat?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"It says here in this magazine you’re an idiot."