Nighttime Tales Gifts

'Well, of course you don't have to be afraid of the dark, silly...just the things lurking in it!'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'At lone at last.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Well did he?"

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

Baby Bear.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"There's nothing wrong with my car. . ."

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."