Nighttime Storyteller Gifts

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Artist and night

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Papi, I heard something!"

"But I'm not even tir..."

The End is Night

"It was just a bad dream darling. See, the moon's still here. You can go back to sleep now..."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

Dog Nightmares

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."