Nighttime Storyteller T-Shirts

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

Artist and night

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Papi, I heard something!"

"But I'm not even tir..."

"It was just a bad dream darling. See, the moon's still here. You can go back to sleep now..."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'