Sleepytime Storyteller T-Shirts

Teddy sweeping up zzz

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Dog Nightmares

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"Name your sources."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"