Sleepless Storyteller T-Shirts

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

Night of the 2 Cappuccinos

'I'm writing an insomniacs guide to beating the IRS.'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

Marcel Marceau's parrot

'. . . Just thought I'd drop you a mime!'

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

Mime father in the delivery room.

"Papi, I heard something!"

The Greatest Mime in the World

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"...And now show us what you said."

The first rule of mime club is: You Do Not Talk About Mime Club!

Quiet Quitting

This coffee can keep you up

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

'Did he say anything before he died?'

A mime visits a psychiatrist.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

When mimes make an appointment...

Wide-awake.

"Your 2 am is here."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

The End is Night

Mathematics.

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"