Midnight Storyteller T-Shirts

It was the call of the wild. Or death. It was getting hard to tell them apart.

"We only got six days of funding."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

Phoenix

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'