Midnight Memoirist T-Shirts

'Your night writing book, madam.'

"The overthinker"

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Caught in the Music

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Pull and all nighter...

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

"Papi, I heard something!"

"It's a fortuitous coincidence that the greatest moments in music history were when I was in high school."

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

The End is Night

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

'The princess won the lottery and lived even more happily ever after.'

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

Insomnia.

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

I'm finishing my memoirs. There's a chapter about us. What us? There was never any us. It's just a memoir. I have some artistic license. Do you want to be my wife or just my doting longtime girlfriend? Some people can't stand seeing their lives in print.