Nighttime Story Enthusiast Gifts

'Was it the 'Catwoman' dream again?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Little Princess.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."