Nighttime Story Enthusiast Gifts

'Was it the 'Catwoman' dream again?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"