Nighttime Tales Pillows

'Well, of course you don't have to be afraid of the dark, silly...just the things lurking in it!'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'She's just great with the children.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'At lone at last.'

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"Well did he?"

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"There's nothing wrong with my car. . ."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Baby Bear.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Ok, ok, last page.

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'