Late-night Investor Gifts

'It's 10:00pm - do you know where your stock broker is hiding?'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Night-shift entrance

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Man reading in lamp

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Mother, you were right."

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

'We just have to win this account, Barbara and I have another litter on the way!'

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

'I forgot my keys!'

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."