Late-night Investor Gifts

'It's 10:00pm - do you know where your stock broker is hiding?'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Night-shift entrance

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

Man reading in lamp

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Mother, you were right."

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

'We just have to win this account, Barbara and I have another litter on the way!'

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

'I forgot my keys!'

'For the last time...TURN THAT LIGHT OFF AND GO TO SLEEP!'

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."