Last-minute Gift Givers Pillows

'I'll take a dozen, mix up the colors and here are the sizes.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Tipping Pain Chart

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

It's the thought that counts!

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

"Don't look him in the mouth! Don't look him in the mouuuthhh!!"

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

"Uh, oh. I forgot what day it is."

'Uh oh, looks like we've got weekend guests.'

Last-Minute Gifts

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

Cats and Gift Bags