Last-minute Gift Shopper Pillows

MOM'S DINER, ONLY 23 SHOPPING DAYS TILL MOTHER'S DAY!

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Everything for a buck.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Black Friday

Seasonal shopping.

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"I am in training for the sales."

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

"My missus is expecting me to bring home some duty-frees!"

inflation at Christmas

'I braved the Boxing Day sales just for you, dear.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Belated $3 birthday cards. 'Darn. All I've got is two bucks.' Bob was always a day late and a dollar short.

'Everything must go...manners included!'

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

"Maybe they should call it 'in the red' Friday."

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

"Uh, oh. I forgot what day it is."

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

Last-Minute Gifts