Last-minute Gifter Pillows

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

Belated $3 birthday cards. 'Darn. All I've got is two bucks.' Bob was always a day late and a dollar short.

"Let's just stop here and get her a little something."

"Happy birthday. They were out of roses."

"Uh, oh. I forgot what day it is."

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"Gift"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

Procrastinator's Leap

Last-Minute Gifts

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

Make Your Own

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

"Sorry, but I have to let you all go. I'm getting all of my presents online now."

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

'Now surprise me-who'll be getting the MOST prezzies this year??'

Do you have to do everything at the last minute?

"Well? Try them out!"

Christmas is Around the corner,

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

"This is the time of year when you really have to stay on your toes about being good."

I don't care if the paint's not dry yet, Bob – I need my brass knuckles.

"I'm not social distancing. I just don't like you."

"Wow! Something to roll in! Thanks!!!"

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"I've brought you a plant to keep you company."

Santa gives the earth the Covid-19 vaccine

"Mistletoe and fruitcake instead of flowers and candy for Valentine's Day? You're recycling Christmas stuff, aren't you."

'My wife's birthday always seems to be the day after she reminds me...'