Procrastinating Gift-giver Pillows

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring, except a mouse ...

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

"Mom told me I can't give you any more tools for Father's Day, Birthday or Christmas."

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"Uh, oh. I forgot what day it is."

'I guess a facial hair removal kit isn't a good anniversary present.'

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

Do you know the time, Santa?

MYRRH: The first re-gifting

Don't Involve Yourself Christmas Tree.

Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'

A Christmas Carl.

'Will you look at THAT-Christmas six months gone and her decorations still up!'

"Happy birthday. They were out of roses."

'My wife's birthday always seems to be the day after she reminds me...'

'What did you get him?'

'In caes it isn't quite what you wanted,I've kept the receipt...!!!'

MOM'S DINER, ONLY 23 SHOPPING DAYS TILL MOTHER'S DAY!

'I need some help finding the perfect gift for that not so perfect someone.'

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

"You got me flowers for our anniversary? How sweet, hone...and this year you're only three weeks past the actual date!"

"Guys, seriously, some myrrh? Next time let's not wait till the last minute as usual to make gifts!"

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

'Hmm... Only 11 days till I have to start Christmas shopping.'

"Sorry, pal, you're too late. I'm completely out of ideas."

"They ran out of bouquets."