Impractical Gift Giver Pillows

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

celebrating a birth.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Christmas Presents.

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Love.

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'