Gift Givers With A Twist Pillows

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

How Amazon was invented

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

A baby using a heavy duty drill

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Tipping Pain Chart

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

The Doll's afternoon tea party had taken an unexpected ad dramatic turn.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

It's the thought that counts!

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Joey, I know how fast you are, but this guy's a special problem.'

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

"Don't look him in the mouth! Don't look him in the mouuuthhh!!"

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'