Lads' Night Gifts

Wide screen TV

I could have danced all night!

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Karataoke

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Superheroes Having a Drink

Bingo night.

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

Playing cards.

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Botox."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"Your shout!"

'Botox...'

"I don't mind you spending the weekend at the lake with the boys, but don't push your luck by bringing home fish."

Down on Bourbon Street...

You have had enough

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

The Stages of Wine

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

Gorgeous Groovers.

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

''Fancy a quick pint?'

Absinthe Fairy.

'He uses the leg rope in the water and she uses it out of the water!'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."