Boys' Night Gifts

"Gotta go, guys. I've had about all the male bonding I can take for today."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"This is the night Marvin gets together with his online poker gang."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

Playing cards.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

"Your shout!"

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

You have had enough

"And what's the story behind the story?"

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

''Fancy a quick pint?'

Happy hour.

Wide screen TV

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

"Hey! He must be watering down the beer.This is our fifth pint and we're still not talking rubbish."

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

"Don't worry. These rosés are still fresh."

Next Round indicator

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"Combining our favorite pastimes of drinking, fishing and hot tubbing makes me realize... we should stop drinking."