Kitty Keeper Gifts

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Hell No Kitty

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Wait a minute - isn't this one yours and that one mine?'

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Vodka

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'Well, you have people pox.'

"Have you made any retirement plans?"

Zen Kitten

"How many is too many?"

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

'What are we having tonight, kitties? Fish, beef or the Bistro special?'

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

Cat coming out of a maternity ward.

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'

Chick escapes from egg prison.